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Sunday, January 25, 2004 You are Susanna, the Borderline. You are constantly questioning your sanity, and sometimes you dont feel like you're 'real.' But dont worry, drugs can cure that, so dont sweat it. What Character From Girl Interrupted Are You? brought to you by Quizilla + Yesterday Flo said that Trent's brilliant. I can't agree more with her. + We walked in the rain hand in hand amidst the budding love and all I could think of was how perfect the sitch was. Even though our Levis' were drenched wet, our slippers were filled with water worms, pretty hair sticking unglamorously to our heads and soft fingers intertwined between short abrupt remarks, I can't think of a more beautiful setting and atmosphere to be with you. You're such a darling. I can't stop staring at you everyday, make things for you everyday, and what-not. You shower me with gourmet chocs, avant-garde ice-cream, MacDonalds and Sakura meals, metal stars that you melted and moulded just for me, and constant repetitions of 'You're so pretty and I'm crazy about you' makes me wonder why didn't I meet you sooner. You saw your friends and you proudly told them you're meeting your gurlfriend. I could almost feel you beaming over the phone. You drew pretty things for me and you keep all the stuff I gave you in a ziplock bag, and even labelled the dates. You even kept the pepper wrapper and paper napkin from BK because you wanted to keep things I touched (that were clean of course. hahaha). We sat at the stairs at midnight to talk about how we won't be seeing each other for a week due to circumstances and I cried. You kept going 'Oh no dejavu!!' coz you always feel that you dreamt about me in a certain way and then it really happens. And whenever you think of something and I say it out, you stare at me wide-eyed and you hug me telling me how meant-to-be we are. Like that time at BK. You were going to order iced milo and then I told you the iced milo is nice and it's so weird coz you didn't tell me you were going to order that. And the countless of times that we hear a song being played and we both go 'I love this song!' together in unison... and we stare at each other and laugh and hug and hold hands... it's amazing. We're so alike and so much in common yet we're worlds apart. Everything's so weird now. A few weeks back I thought I was losing you. Now I feel like we're destined to be married. I really don't want to ruin things between us again man... I promise I won't. Saturday, January 24, 2004
The expensive gourmet chocolates you shower me with everyday, the expensive restaurant treats, the way you hold my hands and stare into my eyes and tell me how beautiful and amazing I am... and you still wonder why I love seeing you after so long. You're mine. Mine and only mine and nothing in this world can tear us apart, I swear.
Friday, January 23, 2004
Been a great day.
Work = passion. Dinner was fabulous amidst the silence and frantic scribblings and stuffed mouths. It's a trade secret only you and me know and nobody else will know what we got up to. How I love spending time with colleagues like these. Freaking people out with our crazy antics at the carnival was so much fun. We giggled our way thru the day to stay away from boredom and somehow I felt so calm and collected. Never felt this comfortable in my own skin in such a long time... Work. Love it man. Thursday, January 22, 2004
Wtf is wrong with you man. Calling me names like that. Fuck you don't know anything and I'm not gonna say anything. But somebody's fucking dying, money's running out and everyone thinks I'm working as a KTV hostess coz I come home from work at 2am everyday. Yea life's somewhere along those lines and worse and I ain't saying anything here no more coz I've decided to be happy on this page.
Fuck you for making assumptions. I don't want to talk to any of you these few days. Leave me alone. Wednesday, January 21, 2004 You are Anne Sexton - a sensual, wild person with a taste for adultery. You prey on lesser talents, luring them into your bed and into your poetry. You are the Venus Fly-Trap of confessional poets. Which Dead Poet Are You? brought to you by Quizilla +  I'll bet you expected this answer. You already knew you were a DARK ANGELIC, didn't you? You are similar to a demon but slightly different in that you don't revel in evil...you revel in pleasure. Your wings resemble an angel's but if that's so then you are a Fallen Angel - your love of sin caused you to be cast from the Heavens. They are black as raven wings and are nearly as dark as your desires. You are faithless and love it - you believe there is no Judgement Day to fear and so you can do what you want! You have a refined concept of what is sexy and a slightly chaotic sense of 'fun.' In fact, you love chaos and view much of what you do as a game. You are typically attracted to those that will challenge your mind, power, and wit...and are 'dangerous' people like you. It's not unlikely that you are bisexual or at least open to the concept, because you seek excitement and passion everywhere and in everyone. Chances are you have a special talent for magick - you're a powerful being and you know what you want. Like a Serpent of Eden you like to try your powers of seduction and manipulation, though your intent is rarely to cause harm. You have a deep, dark sense of art and/or poetry, because your mind is a deep, dark place. While typically smirking, amused, and sarcastic, you are capable of severe revenge and a passion and intensity unrivaled by any other. In your eyes life is for enjoyment and pleasure - nothing else. If you're not having fun in your own twisted way, you're not happy. You are easily bored with the vast majority of people. You are most likely drawn towards the Gothic subculture and probably adore Goth music, art, and style. Many people look down on your seemingly careless lifestyle and may even consider you 'slutty'. Not true. You just know you're sexy and you're damn proud of it. Dark Angels have an outlook most like Satanists - loving sin and looking to none but themselves for power. Congratulations! You're my kindred spirit. As far as I'm concerned - you know what life is REALLY about. Have fun...Muahaha. *~*~*Claim Your Wings - Pics and Long Answers*~*~* brought to you by Quizilla Oh how I love my naughty naughty ways... + I love my job. But everyone's such a party animal. Most of the staff have ZOUK, PHUTURE, CENTRO and what-not membership cards that comes with the job after 2 years of service (dammit I still have 23 months to go) and they club like minimum twice a week... I so don't fit into their lifestyle with my slack attitude and even more slack clothes. I'm a decent kid man, clubbing's not an option. harhar! Like, work's awesome. Imagine working everyday like as if you're on a musical trip holiday. Colleagues are so fucking cool. Like all the men have piercings and they're all single (wheeee! ahhaha) and ladies are boring except for Hab and Ilona coz they're pretty and cool. haha! We laugh and gossiped and bonded the entire day yesterday and for the first time ever, I discovered that Dean (top man in Towers Singapore) is such a funny fella and not the grouch!! When he discovered I smoke, I kept repeating 'Siti smoke ah... Siti smoke ah. SITI SMOKE AH???' hahaha!! Then call me his party buddy and invited me to ZOUK for every weekend and officialised me as part of the Towers family. Like fuck if only I knew smoking would make his mind change about me, I would've smoked like a chimney right in his office a long time ago. hahaha Oh man words can't describe how much I love my job and my colleagues. Awesome man to be part of the Towers staff. Monday, January 19, 2004
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
GLORIA'S AN 'ANTIQUE'! hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahaa (sorry babe, just couldn't help but to laugh miserably loud when I read your d.land. hahahahaa) +  You are naturally born with a gift, whether it be poetry, writing or song. You love beauty and creativity, and usually are highly intelligent. Others view you as mysterious and dreamy, yet also bold since you hold firm in your beliefs. What Type of Soul Do You Have ? brought to you by Quizilla I love this photo of the chick. So h-o-t. Yummylicious. +  Rain: You are the sound of rain. You have two important sides. There is your strong, powerful side and your calm, gentle side. Both are very important. Rain also reflects a bit of darkness in your personality. It isn't bad, just shows that along with the good, you also can see bad, which can come in handy. What Sound Are You?(now w/ pics) brought to you by Quizilla +  Hecate ?? Which Of The Greek Gods Are You ?? brought to you by Quizilla I'll always make a good friend... but I'll never be a good lover... +  Water. Whatever you do, where or when, you do it with all of your heart. You listen to your heart and all of your emotions are true non-acting. Friends are very importent to you and you will do anything for them. You're the most dreamy of all 4 elements. What is your element? brought to you by Quizilla Well, isn't that spot-on? +  You are guided by darkness. Chances are you are depressed, or you just always see things in a negative point of view. You sit back and take everything in. You are the gentle giant. But one day you will snap. What force is your soul? brought to you by Quizilla See that? S-N-A-P. You people wouldn't want to see that happening man, trust me. Grrrrr +  Night Sky Fairy!! You Love the sky and stars. You are mystic and beautiful. Theres something about you elegance thet is so calming. Which Beautiful Amy Brown Fairy Are You? (with pretty pics) brought to you by Quizilla What a beautiful picture... +  Reincarnation: You are nice enough to go to heaven, but Earth won't be as fun without you. So you shall come back as someone or something else. As a real optimist and lighthearted person, you always see the good in things. People probably respect you for your wonderful personality and love for life. People like you make the world a happier place. **Where will you go when you die?**(now with pics) brought to you by Quizilla + Okok I just went quizzie crazy so excuse me for being a retard. Bleargh. + It's all over with you now. All the jealousy I've caused you states the reason why I'm trying to hide. (ell, was anyways.) Too many hearts are broken. A lover's promise never came with a maybe. So many words are left unspoken... the silent voices are driving me crazy. I'm going to keep my distance from you... it's not a choice. It's a must. It's for the best. We are both very brittle now and I don't see any point in fake conversations or meet-ups, trying to be nice to each other amidst the tension. I'll see you in a few weeks time ex-gurlfriend. + And you? Read my lips. I-give-up. Yes. I cannot be bothered to play mind games and woo you and what-not. I know you adore me as much as I adore you. But as you put it, "We both have XX chromosomes" and so we can't be together, which is a fucked-up logic,honestly; but what the hey, I always let people off even when they fuck up on me. I wanted to be summer to you but what I felt was winter. I got more than I asked for... I'm sorry I made you lose your appetite. Don't call me a liar, I will watch the sunset with you. I want you. You are a liar, dammit. I don't get you. You reach out for my hands at Carrefour. You hold my hands tightly and you get nervous whenever you're gonna meet me. When I asked you what do you want to eat you stare at me and tell me you want me. You wander around Carrefour for 2 hours aimlessly just so that you can meet me after that to say a simple Bye before you go homeward. You pay for all my food and you come to the cashier just to hold my hands and tease me. You do all sorts of things and then you tell me everything's one-sided and that well, I'm on my own man. What the fuck. I'm no longer upset and disappointed. I'm just fucking pissed for wasting my emotions and putting up high hopes. Sorry honey but there's only so much I can take. I told you the other day what goes around comes around because I'm a firm believer of that notion. But you said no. Guess what honey, you're getting back what you gave. Soon. Very soon. Just watch this space for some revenge. Told ya not to mess with me. Ha. + Darling Dessy keeps my sanity intact. I have him to talk to and stare at when I feel shittified. He calms me down (and squeezes my ass.hahaha) and makes me smile. Great gurl friends like Gloria, Kejin, Flo and Scorpion are diamonds that are not in the rough. They're truly sparkly diamonds. I am just grateful I have somebody to turn to for every single fucking thing I mess up... these people will forever be cherished for the simple fact that they're always taking the initiative to care for me and check me up. It does wonders when you're so kind like that... you save peoples' lives and sanity man! So yeah, God bless these people and others that I might have forgotten to mention. Friends do last forever. Sunday, January 18, 2004 Your soul is bound to the Glass Rose: The Fragile. "My heart lies somewhere between perfection and dust. And while my soul is a sight to behold, I shatter at the blink of an eye." The Glass Rose is associated with perfection, beauty, and frailty. It is governed by the goddess Aphrodite and its sign is the Looking Glass, or Tenuous Love. As a Glass Rose, you have a beautiful soul and naturally attract people to you. Love comes naturally to you, but it hardly ever lasts. Though you embody the perfect form of love, your own faults are your own undoing. What Rose Is Your Soul Bound To? brought to you by Quizilla Oh gosh why am I doomed to such a fate... +
Aptly put dear quizzie. + Yesterday was major fun. Saw Ivan and Kejin and took tonnes of photos... saw Kejin and Jav in town later with Dessy... Hab and I ran around City Hall buying lunch and what-not for our colleagues. Damn fucking hot and tired... I could've fainted. This bloody apek stood 4cm away from me at the traffic light and stared at my boobs and ass. It was so embarrassing! I'm so traumatised that I vow to wear my baggy Towers tshirt wherever I go for the next few weeks... the stares I got yesterday was so humiliating I don't understand what's there to stare at... the way they stared, it was as if I was walking around naked. But I was only wearing a tight tshirt and long hipster-hippy skirt! I guess old men just love to ogle at gurls... whether they're hot or not... jeez man I am so deeply traumatised I shall not even look up when I walk til I get over yesterday... Town + Dessy = Tonnes of fun!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Yes yes darling remember to sing Nobody loves me, Everybody hates me. I'm gonna eat some wooor----rrrrrms) Hilarious fun, filled with cock and bull, and I say I love this fella very much. Everything and everyone else spells out infatuation and honestly, nothing's better than Dessy darling (yes yes I hear Gloria cheering for me. hahaha). Even if you fling Ashton Kutcher onto me, I wouldn't even flinch. Okay maybe I"ll gawk but I wouldn't flinch. Nu'uh. No way. Dessy only. Yes. Yay! Saturday, January 17, 2004 Dark magician. You love the dark because of it's beauty and just the life that no-one else sees. Mysterious, calm, quiet... But that doesn't mean you're not friendly!
Friday, January 16, 2004
This is so wrong. Everything's so wrong.
I don't want to feel this way and I don't want you to be so miserable and grumpy because of me. Can't you see I'm destruction? You try so hard to move on and ignore what you are feeling inside yet you hold my hands when we walk and yet you stare at me lovingly at BK and tell me what beautiful eyes I have. What a colourful creature I am. What a polite person I am and that I should win the 'Most Polite Staff' from Towers 10 years in a row. But why did you have to get mad at me. Why did you have to be so mean. Why are you trying so hard to make me hate you? Your attempts are futile and it always will be, isn't that clear enough already? One minute you tell me things that make me swoon and the next day you are pissified at me and use the excuse of 'Oh-I-just-woke-up-that's-why-I'm-grumpy' excuse. Yesterday was terrific, today's a blunder. You still are the toughest nut to crack. +  Gray: You poor, depressed child. A rain cloud seems to follow you everywhere. The worst has always got to happen doesn't it? Life is miserable. What color do you see the world in? brought to you by Quizilla What a fucking liar. It's not true, I swear. + Condolences and grievances goes out to darling Flo who's doggy, Rascal, passed away a few days back coz she got rolled over by a mean lorry. I'm sorry honey... + I can't breathe whenever I think about you. You said I have no idea how much I mean to you. You said I'm driving you crazy. You said you're falling for me and you're trying so hard to be perfcet and that you can't 'cave in'. Responding to your feelings isn't 'caving in'. Resorting to endless puffs during your nightly walks is 'caving in' but loving isn't 'caving in'. Can't you see that? You said that this Foo Fighters lyrics says everything there is you feel for me. I can only weep at night for you... tonight I'm tangled in my blanket of clouds dreaming aloud things just won't do without you matter of fact I'm on your back if you walk out on me I'm walking after you if you'd accept surrender I'll give up some more weren't you adored I cannot be without you matter of fact I'm on your back if you walk out on me I'm walking after you another heart cracked in two I'm on your back Oh darling why do you have to be so confused and complicated? I can only weep for you... + Now I am one with you. We are star-crossed lovers and our left hands says it all. We are starry people. We are one now. Thursday, January 15, 2004
Work work work.
Fuck I've got a star-shaped blood clot on my left wrist and all I can think of is you. Why do things never go my way? Am I fated to a life subjected to things I'll never be satisfied with? My skin looks amazingly pale and clear compared to the red blotches of blood clots. Hmm........ I can't wait to see Hab again and slack with her. She's tonnes of fun and right now I'm waiting for her call coz she's having basketball practice. Somehow the wait isn't that bad coz I know it's worthwhile... I kinda miss you Trent. Strange innit? The way we are now? Hmm... Saturday, January 10, 2004 What attracts people to you? brought to you by Quizilla But I don't feel too loved by anyone but Dessy now... + Hmm... I have no idea really as to why the photos aren't loading. I can't be bothered either. So much has been happening lately. Love found. Love loss. Work loads. New people. I love my job even though it tires me out. I need some space to think. I need to reconsider my priorities. Especially the love department. + 
Got a haircut yesterday. Love my look even though the cute Coffee Bean guy said I look kental just because I smoke Virginia Slaims... Grrr. 
Queen Gloria and I having our fun like Japanese tourists do at Wisma's aquarium. 
New Year's eve's nails and legs. Tasted margaritas for the first time ever and I'd say I'd love to have more soon. + So much has happened. So much I want to remember and more that I want to forget. I don't have the mind to write them all here because I have decided that I'm no longer a net-addict and I shall not be a slave to the net or any of you my dear readers because well, I assume I have finally realized what a chore blogging is.Oh what am I warbling about. I don't know. Just in a very very muddled state of mind. So sad yet so optimistic. + Oh Flo... where are you now? I need you... Hear my cries and soothe my pleas... I beg of you. archives
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I am The Wheel of Fortune